Self-Care For Moms
You may have just read that title and wondered how on earth you could possibly have time for self-care?! It may sound crazy, but it is absolutely necessary for you, especially as a mom!
Women in general tend to constantly put taking care of others above taking care of themselves. We tend to be natural nurturer’s, which isn’t a bad thing, the key is finding balance. You ever run into someone you know at the store, have a brief chat, and upon leaving they say, “take care.” ? Did you know that this phrase is actually short for “Take care of Yourself”? Yes, that’s right! They are telling you to take care of yourself, something that may often be overlooked in day to day life as a mom.
I myself know what it is like to let self-care fall to the side and not be a priority. It is from my own personal experience that I have become so deeply passionate about self-care. In my career as a professional nanny, I have experienced burn out as well as in my personal life. The reality is that we simply cannot pour from an empty cup, no matter how hard we try. It will at some point catch up to you, and usually at the worst possible time.
September is a special month for self-care as it is a month that focuses on Mental Health and well-being. It is Suicide Prevention and Awareness Month. Our mental health is so important and can be a very delicate thing. It is something that we need to carefully protect and take the time out for. Several years back I lost a dear friend to suicide. I can honestly say it was shocking! He was the friend that looked out for everyone else , made sure everyone else was happy and doing well. I remember when I was going through a rough time, he was a friend that would show up and get me out, even if I didn’t feel like it. I always felt better after! It was good for my mental health to get out and be around friends that loved me while I was sad. He gave the best bear hugs and was a genuine friend to so many of us that loved him. We need those kinds of friends, and we should be those kinds of friends, but we should never forget to take care of ourselves. If you have ever lost a loved one this way, then you know the complicated grief and the questions that come with it. If you have struggled with mental health issues of your own, then you know how truly important it is to make yourself a priority. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness! Yet so many people suffer in silence. It’s really sad.
Over the next several weeks I want to really focus on Self-care, how we as women can add more of it to our lives, and how as a mom it will benefit not just you but your entire family. When you are healthy and doing well that energy passes onto your partner, your children, and you are able to give to them from a place of wholeness rather than emptiness or exhaustion. Being a mom can be lonely. You’re facing all new challenges and experiences and may be craving more adult connections. We need to be connected to our partners and to the family and friends that we are close to.
As we begin to dive into self-care, think about what that means for you? It can be different for everyone. Perhaps it is working out three times a week, perhaps it is a girl’s night once a month, perhaps it is finding an hour to sit and read by yourself, or head to browse at the mall without taking your kids along. I know it may seem impossible, but as we move forward in the coming weeks, we will find ways to implement taking care of YOU. If you have a partner, start the dialogue now about some ideas you have, and how you can find some “me time”. If you are a single mom, this may be a good time to reach out to a family member or friend that you think would be willing to watch your children for a couple of hours, or to finally hire a babysitter. I look forward to diving deeper into this topic and helping you to take the best care of yourself.
A great way to start discovering what you need for self-care is to journal or list. Take a few minutes after the kids have gone to bed to jot down what parts of the day you loved the most, and what parts were the most difficult. What you love about being a mom and what parts of pre mom life you may miss? It’s ok to release yourself from guilt and remember that self-care isn’t selfish, it’s actually necessary and will in turn help you to give to your family from a healthy place.